Find your own parenting style
Editor | Sep 03, 2010 | Comments 0
During the months that your baby is in your belly, you and your partner may have dreamt of the type of family you wanted to be: it is the natural process of parenting. You may have wanted to raise your kids just like you were raised, or perhaps there were certain experiences of your childhood that you just don’t want to repeat with your own kids. Finding your parenting style is important so that both you and your child or children can enjoy the family experience.
Your own education and your kids´ education
Some couples feel that their own parents did such a great job raising them that they don’t know if they will be capable of doing the same with their own kids. But this attitude is usually the exception to the rule, because most of us want to do a better job than our parents did. Modern theories on educating children from early on are very different to the parenting style that was common in our parents´ generation.
When choosing your own parenting style, try not to react to your own parent’s style by going to the other extreme if you don’t like how you were raised. Some parents lived in a very strict household and they don’t want their kids to go through that, so they go to the other end of the spectrum when it comes to discipline.
Extremely strict discipline is by no means a good thing, but a lack of boundaries is just as bad. The best is to choose the good points of your own education, and apply them to your kids´ rearing.
Communicate with your spouse
Just as important as knowing what parenting style you want to implement, is that you and your partner are both on the same page. Your kids´ education will be much more effective if they see that mom and dad agree, than
Differences in parenting styles are a common cause of conflict in couples. It is common to distribute roles in which one of the parents is the “bad” one or the “strict” one, and the other is the “good” one or the “lenient” one. This creates confusion and insecurity in the kids because these boundaries are not well-defined.
Some of the parenting issues you should discuss with your partner are:
Discipline. Discuss the important rules in your home, such as curfews, times for meals, chores and homework, to name a few. What to do when the rules are not followed. Establish the kind of punishment you will use at home in these cases and how to adapt it to the type of infraction. You can’t compare the child not wanting to eat his veggies with coming home late or hitting a sibling. Responsibilities. As your kids grow up, they can be responsible for some of the house chores. Establish which they will be and above all, teach them how to do the chores.Family time. How you are going to make time to spend together as a family and what activities you will enjoy together.
Whether your parenting style is more disciplined or more relaxed, remember that your ultimate objective is to teach your child to be a self-sufficient and independent adult.
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